Revolution Studio and Columbia Pictures presents a film directed by Chris Columbus. Written by Columbus and Stephen Chbosky. Based on the musical drama “Rent,” by Jonathan Larson. Running time: 128 minutes. Rated PG-13 (for mature thematic material involving drugs and sexuality, and for some strong language).


Five million, twenty five billion, six hundred and forty two. I think is how the opening song goes, but I might be off a bit. First I think it’s important to distinguish between two very different things. First thing is, I know there are a few of you out there who don’t take part in movie musicals and you probably have your varying reasons for that, but I’d like to make very clear right now, there is a very big difference between watching a movie musical and reading a review about a movie musical.


For example there won’t be MOMENTS! (Orchestra cues a few hefty notes from the string section) Wonderful moments! When I find myself looking at the sky! Thinking up reasons to get you to see this wonderful movie with ME! (electric guitars riff along side some ass shaking precusion) I see you sitting there, over there, not over here, but over there, thinking about not seeing this movie. NOT SEEING THIS MOVIE! But what you may not get is that this flick features fucking Rosario Dawson and that dude from Law and Order. And if that ain’t it this fucking flick is directed by none other than 1492 films founder the brilliant, incendiary and Spielberg prodigy Chris Columbus. THAT’S RIGHT! (music dives into fluty melodramatic underscore and builds slowly to climax) So get out of that chair, do up your fucking hair and come see the only show out there with enough Aids and attitude and acrobatic authors of New York City’s bohemian subculture to cure the planet of happy faces and sunshine forever and ever and ever and EVER!


Yeah, good movie, well directed, well performed, but shit they’re still gonna be gay and they’re still gonna be singin’.


~ by fumikaelson on April 18, 2006.

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