Amityville Horror

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer presents a film directed by Andrew Douglas. Runtime: 90 min. Rated R for violence, disturbing images, language, brief sexuality and drug use. (edited for re-rating)

 

Based on a true story. BULL SHIT!!! Or is it? Well I do agree that it’s based on a true story, but these days people avoid deciphering what this really means and they actually believe that “based on a true story” means “a true story.”

 

I have no doubt that a murder occurred in that house. I sincerely doubt that ghosts wrote messages on the wall, telling the new home owners to “Get the fuck out!”

 

I can’t wait to make my own Amityville Horror film. Mine will go something like the others, but there won’t be any ghosts. Just a dysfunctional marriage, an abusive husband and stepfather, children with wild imaginations and maybe a motorcycle chase.

 

Despite my skepticism, this is a good movie. It’s scarier than the original, despite the absence of the frightening Margot Kidder. What didn’t work was the casting of the amazingly topless Van Wilder. The ladies were happy, but when it came to acting crazy his abs just weren’t enough. His mean routine came off more like a father mocking what a mean dad might sound like.

 

On a scale of 1 to a million. One million being Jennifer Connelly and 1 being my father’s big toe (the one that got jammed in a car door) I give this film 501,356. Not too bad.

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~ by fumikaelson on May 26, 2005.

One Response to “Amityville Horror”

  1. FORGET YOU CHARLIE………..THAT RYAN REYNOLDS IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOT RIGHT NOW!

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