First Daughter

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Twentieth Century Fox presents a film directed by Forest Whitaker. Written by Jessica Bendinger, Kate Kondell and Jerry O’Connell. Running time: 104 minutes. Rated PG (for language, sexual situations and alcohol-related material).

 

This film enters an elite group with such piles of dog shit as De-Lovely, The Bourne Supremacy, Little Black Book and Alien Versus Predator as one of the worst films of the year.

 

But Charlie, Katie Holmes is in this movie and I hear she’s in a bathing suit for nearly two percent of the film. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? Yes it does mean something to me. Her adorably winning perfection is the only thing that kept my ass to the seat. Here’s what I don’t understand. Imagine someone is pitching a movie idea to you. Here goes…”okay so you have this girl right, she’s the president’s daughter. She’s tired of always having to live up to the obligation of being the first daughter. With me so far. To make a completely unoriginal story short, just picture Coming to America, Chasing Liberty and the Prince & Me. Okay we take those scripts and we don’t change a thing. Think about it. Coming to America had Eddie Murphy. We won’t have Eddie Murphy. Chasing Liberty had Mandy Moore, we won’t have Mandy Moore. Prince & Me had Julia Stiles, we’ll use Katie Holmes. Up until this point, the executive was sitting comfortably thinking about lunch and his secretary’s ass. KATIE HOLMES!! Make this movie. This film is the perfect film for anyone who does not see as many films as I do and furthermore doesn’t really pay attention to much else in the world. To them I say, enjoy. To myself I say, I could have been knockin’ those Dawson’s Creeks off of my TIVO.

~ by fumikaelson on October 6, 2004.

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